Funny Sunday

Here is a joke that I thought was funny.

Billy Graham and the Chauffuer

Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement. 
When his plane
  arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in 
Montreat.

  As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the 
driver.

  "You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a 
limousine. Would
  you mind if I drove it for a while?"

  The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
  "Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.

  A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first 
speed trap.
  The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.

  The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his 
patrol car to
  begin the procedure.
  The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass 
was rolled down
  he was surprised to see who was driving.

  He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his 
supervisor.
  He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law but 
I also know
  that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies.
  I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very 
important person."

  "The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?"

  The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."

  The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president."

  The young trooper said, "Not, he's even more important than that."

  The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"

  The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus because he's got Billy 
Graham
  for a chauffeur !!!!!

Funny Sunday

Here are two funny jokes that I found the website.

  

"The Anderson family just moved into their new home when a neighbor asked 5-year-old Tommy Anderson how he liked it.

“It’s great,” Tommy said. “I have my very own room and my brother Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room too! But poor mom, she is still with dad…”

One more joke...

"When do you stop at GREEN and go at RED?

When you're eating a watermelon!

  

Hope you have a great week.

Funny Sunday

I got some really funny computer jokes today, here they are...

"There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation."

"I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow.

For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. 

After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?"

Ha Ha! this next one is my favorite one.

"A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.

Suddenly, the pilot ran back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

"I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.

"I'm the smartest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

At this point, the Pope began to speak to the Pizza delivery boy. "I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane."

"You don't have to do that, replied the pizza delivery guy. Bill Gates just jumped out with my backpack!"